Sunday, 12 June 2011

A lot of people these days experience a long distance relationship at some point in their life. Most of us have failed to maintain one and believe that others will suffer the same fate. Why is that so? The reason being is that we start the relationship as if it was like any other and then we come into problems. But what are the common reasons to break up in those long distance relationships and how can you make them work? Below are 10 tips that could make your relationship work.

1. Be honest right from the beginning and ask all the questions to make sure you are both clear on the situation of the relationship. Setting some guide lines such as naming your relationship (dating, seeing each other, boyfriend-girlfriend, engaged sex buddy etc ) as well as letting each other know how exclusive it is (limited to one person,) or non-exclusive. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line.

2. Communicate in some way as much as possible. Since you won’t be seeing each other, it’s important to establish and maintain an emotional connection. These don’t always have to be long, in-depth conversations. Quick ‘how are you doing’ or ‘i miss you messages’ create bonds. Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies. Ask for advice. Use an instant messenger program on your phones or use web cams for that visual connection. E-mail is great so make sure you use it when you can. Write love letters. Send each other small gifts, cards, for no reason. In this case, quantity is as important as quality. Don’t take communication for granted!

3.Being fare away from your boo can be a bit of an experience but take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers. You’ll have more time with friends and/or family, no arguments over toothpaste caps and the best bit is the pleasure of seeing your sweetheart again. Also most important, being far apart gives you a chance to maintain your individuality and you can progress at studying or on a new job or business, something that can get lost in the mist when couples spend all their free time together.
4.Talk about your future together. Doesn’t have to be marriage, but you can talk about going on holiday, going into business, see yourself with each other doing things inspiring in the future that makes you want to see it one day. Discussing how you’re going to get to that point will help you prove to each other that the relationship is going somewhere and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain.
5. Pursue common interests, even if it means pursuing them apart. If there’s a film in the cinema you’re both interested in seeing, watch it individually and then call each other afterwards and talk about it. Read a certain book, magazines or online videos at the same time. Set your watches to go off at the same time every day, Stare at the moon whilst your on the phone and if its dark where your partner is get them to look at the moon too. It may sound cheesy but both of you looking at the moon at the same time will connect you. Another is to synchronize your alarm with that of your partner. Make it a point to think of each other when your watch or mobile goes off and revel in the fact that he or she is thinking about you, too.

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6. You must try and avoid jealousy and be trusting. One of the easiest ways to destroy a healthy relationship is to mess it up with jealousy. When you start a long distance relationship, you must be realistic of the difficulties ahead. It always helps if you go into a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and worthy of trust, until proven otherwise. Don’t fall in the trap of questioning and interrogating your partner every time he decides to go out for a drink with people you haven’t met or doesn’t get back to you right away when you called and left a message. You must remember your partner will naturally have a social life where he lives and so should you. Of course it helps to have your eyes open and not be totally naive, but being overly suspicious is unhealthy for you and your relationship too.


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