Top Ten things NEVER to do on a Date

 

1. Public Prevention

If he avoids ever being seen with you in public on campus, you need to question the status of your relationship. If he is the perfect gentleman behind dorm walls, but a perfect stranger in front of others, then he needs to be kicked to the curb ASAP.

2. A Break is Really a Break

If while you're at school you have the absolute perfect boyfriend, but while you're on winter vacation, summer break or Thanksgiving recess he's a complete stranger, this is a major red flag! Perhaps he thinks the definition of "college relationship" is simply "I'm in a relationship only while I'm away at college." If so, you guys really need to talk!

3. Case of the Ex

Lots of people are still friendly with their exes. In this case, I won't tell you to be suspicious of their relationship because of your boyfriend. Be suspicious of her, especially if you don't know her; you never really know what her intentions are!

4. Cellular Jitters

Never once have you ever even thought about looking through his phone, and even though he goes out of his way to hide his screen and secretly text when you're not looking, you still have no desire to know what's in that phone of his. Just know, you probably won't like what he's hiding. Take precaution.

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5. Creep Alert

There's always that one guy at every party that's lurking around trying to get the attention of any girl that will give him the time of day. You know, the guy who's fist pumping excessively as he walks through the crowd with his beer in his other hand, rubbing his crotch on every ass that he can, waiting for some drunk girl to dance with him, as she is too wasted to know who's actually behind her. If that guy is your boyfriend, then I am personally throwing every red flag I can possibly find at you. Retreat! Retreat! This guy is NOT boyfriend material.

6. Dating Dilemma

If you've never been out on a "date" then you're not actually dating. Instead, you have one of those middle school relationships where dating is considered holding hands behind the park bench at recess time and pecking each other on the cheek as all your creepy little friends stand around and watch. 

 

 

7. Facebook Fraud

Ah, the social network drama. Somehow it's become a commonplace argument among young couples, 2.0. I personally don't like having the whole cyber world in my business so relationship statuses are unimportant to me, but if your beau actually takes the time out to untag himself in every picture of the two of you, I think now would be a good time to get suspicious.

 

8. Friend or F aux

I once had a friend who said something about guys and girls in relationships that really stuck with me. If a girl has a guy she really likes, all her friends will know about him. If a guy has a girl he really likes, he'll want to protect her from his friends (LOL). Part of me can really understand this; guys are naturally protective. Another part of me thinks this is complete bullshit, and that if your closest friends don't even know about me, then our relationship must not mean much to you. Ladies, what are your thoughts on this? 

 

9. Opposite Sex

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a best friend of the opposite sex. Hell, some of my closest friends are guys. But if your boyfriend's "best friend" is a girl whose boob he grabs every time they take a picture or whose hand he holds "jokingly" whenever they're in public, I'm sorry to break this to you but, that's not his best friend. That's actually his real life girlfriend and you're just some other girl he hangs with every now and again. Don't let this be you! 

 

10.He's Just Not Ready

If you and your boyfriend just recently decided to be "exclusive" but he's still rather inclusive in his weekend activities, perhaps you need to lay down some rules about what it actually means to be in a relationship. On the other hand, it could be that this guy just isn't the relationship "type" and is totally fine with just hooking up and fooling around. Perhaps you should look elsewhere for something more serious.

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The Most Important Words in a Relationship

 

Even in the best relationships, partners get on each other’s nerves from time to time. What’s the best way to make sure that minor transgressions don’t sabotage mutual respect in a relationship? With three magic words: “I am sorry.”

“I am sorry” acknowledges the other person’s feelings. They acknowledge a transgression. They take away the hurt. They put things on an even keel again.

Don't say : “I’ll interrupt you if I want to!” This approach is not recommended unless you think having a disgruntled partner is a good thing.

Option two is to comply and say nothing. This isn’t terrible, but it's not great either. If your silence projects reluctance or annoyance, it’ll probably land as compliance under protest—and that heals nothing. By far your best option is to comply and say “I’m sorry.” It’s kind of like vampire blood (if you're a fan of True Blood, you'll get the reference): it heals the wound immediately.

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Of course, “I’m sorry” has to come from the right place to be meaningful. It can’t be rote—going through the motions never touches the emotions. It shouldn’t be inflated, either. The “I’m sorry” that sounds like “I’m an awful person” will come across as self-absorbed and not genuinely caring unless your behavior truly has been awful—and interrupting or talking too much at a dinner party doesn’t qualify.

Bottom line, a dignified, self- (and other-) respecting “I’m sorry” will do fine.

So what are the three most important words in a relationship?

Not “I love you,” though saying that frequently is a fine idea.

Not “let’s have sex,” though having sex often is also a fine idea.

it’s “I am sorry,” three little words that are a wondrous cure-all for the inevitable hurts, little and big, that are our lot in intimate relationships.

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Break up Without Pain

There is no painless break up but it is the degree of pain that varies. At all times, you need to consider a break up plan that would not be as painful to your partner and to you. The damages should not be too deep. There are 6 things that you can do to make your break up pain less and also to maintain a strong, positive and satisfying relationship after the break up.


Determine the right location
Honestly, the best place to break up is not your house. The reason is quire straight, you would have two tasks, asking your ex to accept the break up and to leave your house. Get a social neutral venue like a restaurant or park. Bottom line, it has to be a place where you are both comfortable.

Display kindness
It is not practical for both of you to feel the need for break up at the same time. So, because you are the one initiating this move, you have to be a little kind. It would be hard for your ex and you need to support them by way of understanding and kindness during the period. You may need your ex another time, not for intimacy but anything else, so it would be fair that you be nice to them. Do not make it hard for them to cope with the break up.
Make it fast
It is likely that once you drop the bomb, your ex would want to have some reasons. Never stay behind to give explanations. You may need to leave almost immediately after breaking the news to avoid any trouble. After all, you aren’t a psychologist and even if it is your profession, your ex is not the best client.

Face the situation as a grown up
You need to have some respect after breaking up with your ex. Face your ex and tell them at the face like it is. Never send emails or SMS about break ups.
Get all that belongs to you
It is not good that you ask to break up and then appear a week later to collect your stuff. It is good that when you decide to call it quits, you go with all your belongings, never to come back.
Break up and let it be
Be sure to convey the right message. Never give your ex an impression that things would work out later when breaking up. If possible, avoid your ex for the first month because this is a period long enough to help both of you move on and heal.

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What Not To Do After A Break Up

 

There are a couple of significant mistakes that a lot of newly-single people make after a break up that prolong their pain and suffering. Follow these break up rules to assist you to find peace with the end of your relationship and avoid what not to do after a break up.

BREAK UP RULES

1. After a Break Up Don't: Remain 'Just Friends'

Accepting that your relationship is over is the very first step after a break up, and without this realization you'll be hard pressed to move on. Now is the time for renewal, not hopes for reconciliation. Sure, there may be a slight chance the two of you will get back together, but even the most astute 'get your ex back' manuals start with this first simple step: take a break.

Give yourself some time to mourn your loss. Get to know yourself as a single person. Toe your lines of independence and find out what makes you happy again. Staying friends with your ex will only prolong the pain. Think of any interaction with your ex like an addiction -- every single time you succumb, it'll be that much harder to refuse later.

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2. After a Break Up Don't: Deny Negative Emotions That Surface

There is no doubt that you will feel strong emotions after a break up, such as loneliness, anger, fear, shame, uncertainty, humiliation, sadness, despair and jealousy. For many, these feelings will also surface physically, like crying or feeling like your heart is breaking.

Not only are these 'negative' emotions healthy, but they are important to feel in order to remain healthy. Sure, they seem miserable and probably don't make you feel better in the moment, but allowing yourself time to grieve is an important part of healing after a breakup. Plus, a scientific study undertaken in 1980 by Margaret Crepeau found that frequent criers are healthier people. So don't be afraid to comfort yourself via expressing your negative emotions.

3. After a Break Up Don't: Self-Medicate

If there were issues related to addictions, abuse, mental health (i.e. depression), or self-mutilation prior to your break up, please seek out professional help to assist with your specialized needs. (See: How Do I Find a Therapist?) The same goes for those finding themselves using drugs, alcohol, sex, cutting, or any other harmful self-medicating behaviors to cope with the pain after a break up. And if you feel the need to hurt yourself or someone else, please call a crisis hotline immediately.

4. After a Break Up Don't: Stop Taking Care of Yourself

Most people's basic needs are the same: food, sleep and protection from the elements (i.e. shelter and food). During a particularly difficult break up, some people aren't able to manage even these simple tasks -- which is understandable, although not acceptable.

If you cannot be your own best friend right now, ask for help. Talk to your friends, family, a counselor and/or loved ones and let them know you may need a bit of extra support in the next little while. Additionally, create a break up action plan to post in key places, such as on your fridge or hidden away in your desk at work. That way you'll have no only have people checking out for you, but you'll also have created a foolproof list of things that make you happy to refer to.

5. After a Break Up Don't: Keep Remnants of the Relationship Lying Around

There are quite a few things considered 'remnants' of a relationship, including photos, cutesy trinkets, mementos, clothing, and even food. After a break up, especially if the two of you have children together, it can be challenging to remove all of these items from your home. Luckily that's not what I am asking you to do. Instead, fill a box with whatever items you feel will be necessary at some point in time in the future but still remind you strongly of your ex, and then put that box in a private, out-of-the way place for the time being. There will be more than enough reminders on a day-to-day basis of your ex's just because of how the human mind works. You won't need any extra help to add fuel to the break up fire.

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Sweet Things You Can Do For Your Boyfriend

 

When you love someone it’s important to allow yourself to express it also. Some girls restrain their show of love for the fear that the guy would start taking her for granted, but that’s like living from a very protective place. If you really trust his love why should you fear expressing yourself fully and if you don’t trust his love then ask yourself why you feel that way.  

Any action that swells from the innocence of a love filled heart is bound to carry the flavor of sweetness. But in case you are looking for some tips on things to do for your boyfriend, here’s a list.

Be all ears to what he says

You don’t only want to be his girlfriend but also his best friend. One of the qualities of being a close friend is to be a good listener. It’s not easy to be willing to listen without wanting to judge or comment, but if you really love him allow him this talking space. Let him talk his heart out and then encourage him to talk more, he is sure to appreciate the sweetness in your wanting to listen him out.

Dress to his taste

Remember that this is not a directive but something that you want to do because you love him. Your boyfriend may find some of your dressing style uncomfortable or too revealing, especially in public places. If you sense his discomfort you can avoid dressing that way in his company. He’s bound to find it sweet of you to do this for him. But take note that you don’t have to do anything that makes you feel resentful or else it will only end up making you feel lousy or exploited.

Cook him something special

In fact just cook him anything that you know he likes and he’s sure to find it really sweet of you, especially during the initial days of the relationship. Guys love a “home maker” instinct in their girlfriend. Even if you are not a great cook, he will definitely love you for putting in the effort for him.

Give him a special night

If the both of you are on physical terms then there is no better way to be really sweet to your boyfriend than to give him the pleasure of your intimacy. The giving part is usually the most loving part about sex, and as a girl you can really give him a pleasurable high with the things you can do with his body.

Baby talk him

Many guys love to be baby talked to. You can call him by some “baby” names like teddy, cutie, sugarpie, plumcake or puppy and sweet talk him. No matter how much we grow up we all have a child inside us that loves to be acknowledged. Cuddling and baby talking are some cute things to do for your boyfriend.

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Gift him for no reason

Nothing shows love more than the act of giving. If you know that your boyfriend is looking to buy something for himself, you can buy it and gift it to him. You can gift him a shirt, a cap or a t-shirt out of the blue for no reason at all but to show him how much you love him.

A genuine love within usually manifests as a gesture of giving and that’s the sweetest part about any relationship. You can do a lot sweet and cute things for your boyfriend just be holding on to the deep appreciation you have for the relationship. True love is always finding ways to show itself so opportunities will makes themselves available to you all the time.

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What to Do After a Fight with Boyfriend

Did you have another fight with your boyfriend? Is it something shallow that can be resolved logically or something deep like if you caught him with another woman?

Things To do :

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1. Differentiate what kind of fight you guys have. If it something that can be resolved quickly like if he was late again for your date, then you need to understand his reason why he was late, but if it’s something deeper like he cheated on you or he stole money from you then you need to break the relationship. Getting into a fight with your boyfriend is normal. Both of you have different personality and sometimes you tend to disagree on some things so it’s okay if you guys fight from time to time.

On the other hand, if he is physically hurting you as well as mentally like doing something you don’t want to do, then it’s time to end the relationship. He may have some issues that even you can’t fix. Besides, if he is hurting you, you are not helping him to be better if you stayed on the relationship.

Getting into a fight with your boyfriend is very unpleasant and if you let it escalate into something more, he may end the relationship with you. So what do you do if you have a fight with your boyfriend?

2.  Let things simmer down. Go for a walk or take a shower. You both need to calm down first. There’s no use to talk things out when the both of you are upset. Don’t talk for a while just let each other be calm. 

3. Ponder about your fight with your boyfriend. Where you unreasonable? Is this an issue that has been brewing for a long time? Do you think that it was a mistake for your part? What’s important is that you understand his side of the story too. Maybe you made a mistake or judge him too quickly. Do this when you are calm. 

4. Talk to him calmly. Let him talk first and try to understand his side of the story and then you tell your side. After that, try to think of a solution to the problem. Do you think he could wear a watch so that he’ll remember your date or maybe you can call him an hour before you guys meet to remind him about the date? Remember that nobody’s perfect and everybody makes mistakes sometimes. There is no problem that cannot be resolved so find the solution to your problem.

Now that you guys find the solution to your problem, it’s time that the both of you forgive each other and have some fun. Do something together that is happy and fun. There’s nothing wrong if you guys fight from time to time but remember that in a relationship, it’s not the only thing you guys have.

Remember that finding solution when you have a fight with your boyfriend can strengthen your relationship. The important thing is that both of you learn from that fight and learn to forgive each other.

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Make Your Friend Feel Better Via Text Message

You've taken the plunge and made the biggest commitment of your life. But statistics show that in the US, almost half of all marriages end in divorce, and one of the leading causes is marital infidelity. Whether you're married or a partner in a committed relationship, being faithful isn't always easy - but if you commit to being a faithful spouse or partner, you can do it.

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1. Ask the other person what's wrong, just as you would do in person. When a friend goes to the effort to clarify that something's wrong in their text message, usually it means they want to talk. As such, showing concern lets your friend know that you care and that you're willing to engage in a morale boosting text session. That's always a start to cheering someone up.

2. Let your friend explain the dilemma, and be a good listener. Even with phone screens separating you, there are still ways to show that you're genuinely "listening" and receptive. While your friend tells the story, you can text little comments like, 'That's awful', or, 'I'm so sorry about that'. However, overdoing it can have the exact opposite effect, so make sure your words sound (and truly are) genuine. Space them out so that you're not crowding the text conversation.

3. Say the things that you know will be most comforting. All friends have slightly different reactions to words of commiseration or support, so make sure to phrase your responses with the particular person's known reactions in mind. Definitely avoid saying anything that smacks of "I warned you" or "I told you so". 

4. Give your friend some suggested advice about the problem. Friends help each other out, and so, your willingness to aid will show your friend that you do care and want to help try and make things better. The great thing about text is that any advice given needs to be short and to-the-point, usually the best kind of advice! 

5. Try to help your friend to look on the bright side. Taking a friend's mind off the negatives is helpful to making him or her feel better. You might like to do this with a short and obviously funny joke, a quick anecdote about something amusing, or even a funny photo or video you have to share. You might even make your own funny face, photograph it, and send that to cheer up your friend!

 

6. Use emoticons. Many phones come with emoticon menus that let you pick the one that is most appropriate for the moment. Generally, the standard emoticons are 'happy', 'very happy', 'angry', 'sad', 'excited', 'laughing', etc. If your phone doesn't have emoticons, you can use smilies. The standard smile is ':)', but, like emoticons, smilies cover a broad range of emotions. Using them in text messages is cute, fun, and helps to better convey your feelings, which can sometimes be difficult in a texting medium.

7. Use symbols like '<3'. This particular symbol depicts a sideways heart and all heart symbols are cute, clever, and very useful in showing your affection and support. Another good one is 'XOXO'. And don't forget the value of simply saying "hugs". That can convey more than many other words could ever do.

8. Know when to end the texting. If your friend seems incredibly upset, end the texting. Either arrange to catch up face-to-face with your friend as soon as possible or suggest that you talk on the phone rather than text. Alternatively, you may sense that your friend is getting distracted and wants some time out from thinking about their problems, and this could be a good time to stop texting. And if all you get back from your friend are lots of smiles and hugs, you've done your job of cheering them up and you can tell them you'll catch them later.

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