"Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!"
- Auntie MameFinding your own happiness starts and ends with you. Read on to find out how to have more joy in life.
Steps
- Listen to the put down. Is it something petty, like, "I hate that color on you", or is a rude comment, such as, "You're lazy!"? Petty unfounded comments are like a fly stinging a horse; they should be brushed off, but rude comments need more attention.
- Ask yourself if a rude comment is true. "Am I lazy?" If you know the answer off the top of your head, then brush off the comment (unless it's repeated behavior, then you may want to avoid that person, talk to them about it or tell your boss/teacher, if needed).
- Ask a trusted friend if they think the comment is true, or you can ask the person why they made that comment, and to give you examples. A good friend will be constructive and help you as much as they can.
- Work on it if you think the person insulting you has a point. Nobody is perfect, but by being proactive you will improve that particular aspect of yourself. Too meek? Work on it! Take some confidence or public speaking classes. Unfit? Grab a tracksuit and hit the gym. You don't have to do this for every little thing, but working on the big things holding you back will massively improve yourself and your attitude.
- Learn to ignore worthless comments. They're opinions that are just meant to hurt your feelings, and are not at all truthful. Try to remember that people often insult out of anger or jealousy. Some people take joy out of hurting others, and anything they say should be put in the back of your mind.
- Laugh at yourself. If it's not a big deal to you, it shouldn't be an issue to others. But remember, laughing at something that really injures your self-esteem is a no. It just gives others the feeling that they too can do that to you.
Tips
- Get to know who you are and what you want. When you are comfortable in your own skin, loving yourself comes naturally.
- Make a list of things you're good at or that you like about yourself. For example, "i have a nice smile" or "i'm a good runner". Having a list of all your good qualities will make you feel worthy.
- You may need to spend more time alone to get to know yourself. Ask yourself, "What do you want?" What makes you happy?" "What don't you like?" "What are you willing to do to please yourself?" Keeping a journal is highly recommended.
- When you know who you are, and what you like, you will begin to attract like-minded people. "Birds of a feather flock together" is NOT just a saying.
- Having like-minded, supportive friends will help you ignore the small stuff.
- Remember, it all starts with you getting to know yourself and liking yourself. Until you do that, don't be surprised if few people like you.
- Good luck on your journey to joy!
- ALWAYS REMEMBER AND NEVER FORGET THAT YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON AND YOU HAVE A PLACE IN THIS WORLD AND DON'T EVER LET ANYONE TELL YOU OTHERWISE.
Warnings
- There are people who are just plain mean spirited. They tend to be jealous of kind hearted, friendly, and/or happy people. Stay away from them as much as possible.
- There are people who take pleasure in hurting other people's feelings even only by making comments such as "You look awful today". Just because you are kindhearted and loving doesn't necessarily mean that everyone around you is too.Learn to tell the difference between those two kinds of people and don't treat everyone as your friend. When they hurt you eventually, you will be disappointed because you expected otherwise,and that can ruin your emotional state. Stay away from those people, and ALWAYS ANSWER BACK at such comments. You might end up arguing with them or even breaking up a long term friendship, but it will save you from future depression when you simply swallow everything without saying a word.
